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Wednesday, August 11, 2010


Dear Heppy
how did it all begin?
can you remember when and how even yourself?
thus a single copy of you lives for only 2 - 3 hours and we're looking at years here so it must've been many many generations for you ago!
do you carry memory of those things anywhere?
or at present you're as clueless as i am and the story of origins is a mere legend to you whispered down through the generations of RNA replication?
in the very beginning i wanted to know, not how, but when to know how long you have been doing your underground activities for...
the trouble with you Dear Heppy is that liver function tests within norm don't mean my liver is not damaged, the number on viral load test doesn't co-relate with how long you've been occupying my body, the symptoms i experience courtesy of you don't indicate what you have been really up to either
you're one great mystery lurking in every single drop of my blood
so all i was left with was guessing
- it may have been my dragon tattoo even though done at the respectable studio still studies show that even if all the accessories are properly sterilized you can survive and migrate through ink if tattoo artist reuses the bottle instead of opening a brand new one for each client
- it may have happened so many times at various dentists and especially one that sticks out in my mind when there was no disposable syringes at the time yet
- it may have happened on either of my two eye surgeries when i was 10 and people only knew of non hepA or B virus at the time
- it very likely could have been through life saving blood transfusion i received in my infancy a tad more than 30 years ago, before anyone on this planet had any idea about you
you could ask why i bother breaking my head about it, well this is what i am like - i'd like to know how long you have been my silent companion to try to predict how much damage you could have inflicted on me and i like to believe for myself we've been together for nearly all my life, not that it really makes much difference because if and when i will have liver biopsy done i will get to see how robust in causing anarchy at cellular level your population has been
and even biopsy result wouldn't tell how long you may have been my unwelcome guest for, but then it really won't matter because i won't have to be guessing anymore, i will know for certain what kind of heritage i've acquired from your Heppy civilization, then the past can be let go and story of origins will become only a mere bedtime tale
but until then i need a crutch, a mental anchor of my battle ship dropped deep down into past to keep me steady on the surface if the result comes back unfavorable and hits me hard like a tsunami and i need to stay afloat to be able to fire my cannons at you with full strength when the time comes

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