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  • - This is the stub blog to redirect hcvadvocate.blogspot.com to the new blog with the untainted name of HepatitisCAdvocate.blogspot.com.
    2 years ago

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Grudge

Dear Heppy
please have a look at this picture
it's a beautiful day out in the mountains, the air is warm and rich with smell of wild grasses and flowers carried by gentle breeze
my father went to a grocery store and my mother is hanging the washing on the line while i am practicing walking in the kitchenette of a holiday camp cottage
at 18 months of age it's quite a challenge not to lose balance often and again i have as my pudgy legs got tangled, in attempt to prevent the fall i grabbed for a cable of an electric heater and along with it pulled down a 5 liter pot of hot boiling water onto myself
the ambulance siren is howling terribly as it rushes me to the nearest hospital, they're trying to take off my clothes and the skin peels off stuck to the fabric as they go
there's a huge rush around me as lots of people frantically are trying to stabilize me, they look for the vein to put the blood drip in but all the normally used veins are too tiny so they finally hook into a vein on my head
it worked
i survived
i recovered
i have not a smallest scar left as a reminder
i was very lucky
i cannot possibly remember any of this but i've heard recall of the events enough times to fill in the gap with vivid pictures that substitute those real memories that are missing
studies claim only about 20% of children who received HCV tainted blood transfusion become infected, out of which about 80% develop chronic hepatitis C
german study on early natural history of HCV in children shows that grand majority of younger subjects exhibit slower progression of disease ie liver damage over the years but the minority is faced with aggressive progression resulting in liver failure since infection even in as little as 5 - 10 years
maybe it was then Dear Heppy when our paths have crossed and entwined together to create a new thread of fate and destiny for both of us
i like to believe that's when it was
33 years together
so can i rely on results of that german study and believe that my liver is as not damaged as it normally could've been because of all the alcohol that i had drunk and sugar i had consumed?
i don't want to bet on it but nevertheless i keep it as a little token of hope
and do i feel any grudge because of what had happened?
do i blame the anonymous blood donor who out of goodness of their heart gave their blood away to save my life?
do i blame the doctors or hospital for giving it to me?
no
there's no grudge, because they couldn't have known about you lurking about, they had no means of detecting you back then, they did as best as they could and thanks to them i am here now to tell this story and write next chapters of it
will it have a happy ending?
i don't know only time will tell
but if at any stage you won't be there to see for yourself anymore be sure you will be there somewhere in my memory
me

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