yesterday i went for my pre-biosy visit to have bloods taken,
getting up at 6am is not one of my favourites but with the right attitude most of things can be turned into exciting adventure,
the nurse i had met first time recognized me and sunshine instantly but this time we've been seen by a 3rd nurse and she was as nice and fantastic as the other two,
she answered all our questions, explained biopsy procedure and what else will be happening on the day and took 3 vials of blood,
if i don't hear anything from them by monday evening it means my bloods are fine and the biopsy will go ahead on wednesday next week,
since i've been told i won't be allowed to drink anything for at least 12 hrs i'm not scared of needles anymore because vision of bone dry mouth is much more terrifying,
nevertheless i'm actually looking forward to it,
for some strange reason i am not scared of what result of it may be like in the end,
i've been so waiting for it to find out because i couldn't bear the unknown of what you may have done to me and now suddenly it doesn't matter anymore... maybe because i rest assured that treatment will be my salvation or because i've grown to accept that whatever it is i can't change it and i peacefully surrender to what universe has planned to put me through because this is my path i need to walk
life is not hard or not unfair, it is what it is, you Dear Heppy helped me realize and put into practice that it is what i make of it and whatever i need to face i will take it on because there are no rules, without rules that can be broken there is no ground for complaint,
and simply in that i am the winner already because you can break my body but you cannot break my spirit
me
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