yesterday i continued being devastated,
sometimes some things are hard to accept especially when a mistake of allowing oneself to have expectation(s) is made,
i made that mistake and i was paying heavily for it so obviously i fully deserved it,
at the time it was hard to put this disappointment into a context of chain of events so i was full of anger and pain...
in life there are always only two options - give up or regroup and go on,
turns out i am a survivor after all and sooner or later pick myself up,
'the war is won in the heart' - i'd say it's more a mind thing but that's only semantics, truth stays the same regardless of the term used,
what is the solution then?
finding something positive and delayed tx brings a few things about like:
- i could be starting tx along with John and Archer in february or march,
- i will have even more time to get in better shape,
- i will be able to read, watch and play for longer before i'd lose brains to tx fog,
long term protection scheme is also being put in place which involves refocusing, removing myself from intense hcv related mainstream and focusing on some other parts of life that had used to be primary before i found out about you and everything went upside down,
i still will be waiting, countdown won't ever stop but it won't be everything to me anymore, i won't let you win by getting me down,
if the war is won in the heart well then Dear Heppy you've already lost it,