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  • - This is the stub blog to redirect hcvadvocate.blogspot.com to the new blog with the untainted name of HepatitisCAdvocate.blogspot.com.
    3 years ago

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Time Is Now

Dear Heppy
a few days ago i realized something,
something that's been escaping me because i had been so busy with being impatient,
when (hopefully) i am on tx my brain more than likely may turn into a mush that won't have capacity to hold concentration on anything for longer than a single minute if not only a score of seconds so all the things that i'd been so confident about doing are not guaranteed at all, in fact may not happen altogether for a year plus, so i got a rush, a huge rush to do as much as i can with my brain before it goes completely vegetarian,
now i'm busy with things that i used to be busy with before you turned my life upside down and entirely took over,
for the time being i have no minute to waste on you,
actually truth be told i shouldn't have wasted as much as i have and it had to take me six months to come to this simple conclusion, but well 'you live and learn' as they say, so i did
i don't think you 24/7 no more
i don't breathe you 24/7 no more
i don't fear you 24/7 no more
i don't talk to you 24/7 no more
i don't talk about you 24/7 no more
you're no longer the only passenger on merry-go-round of my mind spinning time after time in a fixed circle,
waiting is a state of mind - a euphemism for wasting time that's been given to us to use, because every minute that passes is unique, precious and can't be ever recovered,
if i were standing in front of st peter telling me to enter the afterlife realm i'd argue i haven't done everything i wanted to,
and he'd be correct if he told me 'but you had enough of time! you wasted most of it so why should you get more if you don't know what to do with it?'
i'm still not sure if i'm using my time in the best way i could but at least i'm not wasting it for waiting,
what is to be will come regardless
the tables have turned Dear Heppy and now you have to wait
wait for...
...me

2 comments:

John Doe said...

Good thinking Anna, its a bit like a rocking chair, you have a good mind set with this and will be of great benefit when the time comes and it will for us all......

John

AnnMaRou said...

i finally figured how to post back comments - had to dig a bit in the settings to work it out but had success! LOL
thank you very much John! i very much appreciate your presence and support - it means a whole world to me! <3
anna